• Sexuality

    Cancer can affect your sexuality in both physical and emotional ways. The impact of these changes depends on many factors, such as treatment and side effects, whether or not you have a partner, your age, and your self-confidence and self esteem.

    Cancer does not mean your sexuality will be destroyed. With support and clear communication, you will often still be able to enjoy a fulfilling sex life.

    There are four main ways that cancer or its treatment can affect your sexuality. It can affect your:

    • Physical ability to give and receive sexual pleasure
    • Thoughts and feeling about your body (body image)
    • Feelings, such as fear, sadness, anger and joy
    • Roles and relationships

    The links between these four areas are important. If there is a problem in one of them, it may have an impact on another.

    When someone becomes ill, it can affect their ability to feel good about themselves sexually, or their physical ability to give and receive sexual pleasure. If this has happened to you or your partner, it might be helpful to understand that some changes will only be temporary. Even if the changes are long lasting, or permanent, you can find ways to adapt sexual techniques that are no longer possible or discover new ones. You can learn to feel good about yourself sexually despite the cancer and the possible side effects of the treatments.

    Our sex lives are usually private and not openly discussed with strangers. Because of this you may feel that talking about sex will be embarrassing and difficult, both for you and the health professionals you talk to. This doesn't have to be the case.

    Sex is an important part of most people's lives, which brings pleasure, closeness and helps us define who we are. So, even if you think it will be embarrassing or difficult, it's important to try and talk about any sexual problems the cancer or its treatment are causing. There are things that can help with most problems; but if you keep them to yourself, you may never find out about them!

    It can often be difficult to bring up the subject of sexuality in an appointment with your doctor, but most doctors are used to dealing with this subject and should be able to answer your questions. Your GP or hospital doctor can discuss these issues with you. Many hospitals also have specialist nurses who can answer any questions that you have.

    Health professionals may not think to ask you whether your cancer or its treatment, are affecting your sexuality. However, they would be happy to help or refer you for counseling or specialist treatment if they can't answer your questions.

    It can sometimes be difficult to talk with your partner about sexual problems. You may feel embarrassed and not want to upset them. Your doctor or nurse can give you support and help with discussing these difficult issues.

    If you don't want to talk to anyone face to face, there are confidential help lines with staff that can help you. Sometimes the anonymity of a helpline can help you to talk about issues that you may find difficult to discuss in person.

    Sexuality is an important part of many people’s lives and it can be very reassuring to discuss any problems that you have.

    Sources – Cancer Council NSW and Macmillan Cancer Support UK 

    Sexuality resources

    Cancer Council NSW 

    Macmillan Cancer Support  

    Cancer Council Help Line - 13 11 20